Mary Poppins didn't wear booty shorts

The Fair.

An excuse to spend a day acting like a teenager and eat like crap.

As a result, my legs ache from being squeezed into booty shorts all day and my normal jeans don't fit by the end of the week due to the LC food booth.

And I'm kidding about the booty shorts. But I seriously wonder. You know it's Fair Week when the booty shorts come out. I think Trace Adkins sings it best, "Lord have mercy, how'd she even get those britches on?"

The Nannykins and Mary Poppins hit the fair bright and early on Monday. And I wore my GAP Long and Leans. With a lovely navy top from Forever 21. I was classy. Not trashy.

After standing in line for ride wristbands for 35 minutes, we were ready for action.

Just look at these happy faces-


Then we met up with Lil' Miss Flamingo Girl.


We rode rides.


Then we rode more rides.


Then Mary Poppins decided it was time for the educational part of Fair experience.

So we hit up the animal barns. I would like to take this time to give a shout out to all the 4-H kids who work their tails off raising animals, preparing their stalls, decorating the area around the stalls, and including fun, interactive questions for nannies and their three nannykins.

My favorite question of the day was "How fast can a pig run?"

Thinking I was already over shooting with a guess of 15 mph, imagine my surprise when the answer was 35 MILES PER HOUR. Then, to make things worse, the sweet little 4-H boy shoveling poo piped up with this FASCINATING tidbit, "Yeah, they can run a 7 minute mile."

Awesome. That is just awesome. Thank you poo-picker-upper. I've never felt worse about myself. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go stuff my face with a funnel cake.

But not before visiting the goats and sheep. Sheep who clearly have a fondness for Richard Simmons and Spandex.



This sheep apparently didn't get the Spandex memo and thought he was auditioning for the starring role of Joseph in the all-sheep production of the live Nativity set to tour Lynden in early December. Poor fellow.


Then, we took a quick stroll through whatever barn it is that has the photography, Lego exhibits, and quilts.

And look what we found!

Wow! Fantastic! Incredible! All words to describe the above photo AND the photographer who took said photo. That Stefan Elmer knows his stuff people. You should call him. Or Facebook him. You can find him at StefanElmerPhotography.com or on Facebook under the same name. And you should 'LIKE' his page. And that is the end of my shameless plug for my friend.

I went back to the fair on Saturday night with my gal-pal, Krystal and we couldn't get enough of these little nuggets.




I immediately found my diamond in the ruff and set my heart on this little guy.

I named him Walter. I contemplated how to somehow, someway, find a distraction that would pull the attention of the surrounding 35 people away so I could reach through the gate, grab Walter, and throw him in my purse. A purse that was just big enough to fit my camera AND a runt. But alas, I chose to just stare. And dream of what could've been. I've already had the rat. With a runt, all I would need is a couple cows, some geese, and a horse and I would have my very own version of Charlotte's Web. I guess I would need a spider, too, then. Nevermind. Shudder.


This is how Krystal looked for 20 minutes. I should've used her to help create a distraction. Hind sight.

Sorry Walter. *tear* Hope to see your cute little face next year. Or in three years when you're having your own lil' Walters. One thing is for sure, I won't be seeing you out for a run.

I can't run that fast.

sigh