Summer, Summer, Wherefore art thou Summer?

1. It's Day 20 of summer vacation. So far, I have no bronze skin to write home about. Though, brace yourselves, we're supposed to hit 70 degrees today out here in the Pacific Northwest. Whoa. The pools are going to be packed, people. Back in the Valley of Rock in Iowa, they're maxin' out at 101 degrees today. People in Lynden invite death when it gets that hot. Mostly because we don't have air conditioning. And because we're sissies. I can say that, because I'm one of them now. I suffocate when we top 75 degrees. "IT'S SO HOOOOOOOOOT!!!" It's sad, really.

2. I'm on Day 15 of the Advocare 24-Day Challenge. It's a great jump-start to getting healthy, but I'm hungry. I'd kill a kitten for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I think this YouTube video sums up quite nicely how I'm feeling:



Oh my stars. Chris Farley, you are missed. I remember when this skit aired many years ago, and, at the time, I did not fully understand the magnitude of the situation. And by "situation", I mean dieting. Starving. I'm not craving french fries, but if you laid a pb&j in front of my face there's a possibility I'll go all "Starving Cindy" on you. Consider yourself warned.

3. The last seven days of aformentioned starving challenge ought to get very interesting since I'll be in Iowa visiting my family and actually enjoying a place that is experiencing summer as it's intended to be enjoyed. Hot. Muggy. Intolerable. We are taking family pictures on Saturday afternoon, and it's only supposed to be 92 degrees. I should be very comfortable in my three-quarter length navy cartigan.

While visiting the home of my youth, I plan to:
* Shower Kaydrian with hugs and kisses
* Give my epidermis a nice summer glow
* Drool all over myself while watching "Magic Mike" with my girlfriends
* Enjoy a 1/4 cup of almonds while my girlfriends pig out on popcorn and Milk Duds at the showing of "Magic Mike"
* Enjoy a slice of apple pie and a brat with no bun on the Fourth of July, because A.) It's a refuel day, and B.) It's the Fourth of July. Don't try to stop me. "LAY OFF ME, IT'S A HOLIDAY!!!"

4. And now, the sad news. Brace yourselves. You may cry tears of sympathy. Back in April, I started a digital scrapbook from scratch of my Egypt/Israel trip. I have spent hours upon hours upon hours meticulously placing each picture and bit of journaling exactly where I want it. Last night, there I was; happily plugging away on my book while watching reruns of Psych. I was half way through day 7 of a 10 day trip when my laptop froze.  No worries. It's done this before. The program I'm using autosaves everything I do. And, because I'm not stupid, I still save my work every few pages. I manually shut down my computer and turned it back on. As I've done half a dozen times while working on aforementioned treasured keepsake. I opened my book, and VIOLA. Nothing I worked on during the last 4 1/2 hours was saved. WHAT?! HOW CAN THIS BE?! IT'S SUPPOSED TO AUTOSAVE?! I closed the project. I tried opening it again. This time, sorry...the tears are starting to flow again...there. was. nothing. there. Yep. NOTHING. THE ENTIRE PROJECT HAD BEEN DELETED. How something like this happens is beyond my comprehension. I sat there absolutely shocked. Then, my shock turned to rage. Rage to sorrow. And sorrow to the depths of despair. There's no use in trying to locate it, because my laptop is now drowning in my tears. Crocodile tears. My father was right - Computers will be the downfall of this nation. There are not enough happy pills in this world to mask my heartache. This evening, I will be making a trip to Best Buy to visit the computer geniuses that make up The Geek Squad. And if Tom, Dick, or Harry is able to locate the project consisting of my blood, sweat, and tears, I will literally leap over the counter and kiss his face.

Off to take another dozen happy pills,

The Starving Girl with No Memories