You say freckles; I say beauty marks

In 1985, a movie-based-on-a-book came out that changed the world. Or at least my life. Forever. I'd like to clarify, however, that though the movie was released in 1985, it was the early nineties before my young, adolescent self discovered its greatness. I wasn't glued to the rabbit-eared television at the young age of four. No need to alert CPS and report my parents for using their Toshiba as a babysitter. I digress.

Meet everyone's favorite little redhead.

Oh, little Anne Shirley. Anne with an "e."

Prince Edward Island would never be the same. I wanted to live in Avonlea. I wanted to walk along the sand dunes on the northern shore near the lighthouse. I wanted a bosom friend. I wanted a Gilbert Blythe. I still do. Don't try to tell me you didn't love this face-

Sigh.

Every time there is an Avonlea anything on any channel, I'm hooked like a fish. I have to watch. I laugh. Then I cry. Then I laugh again. Then I pull up a thesaurus on my phone so I can understand what in tarnation Anne with and "e" is saying. Then I cry. No, I sob. My emotions run the gamut during 4 hours of Green Gable goodness.

Some of my favorite scenes are:

1. Gilbert Blythe calls Anne "Carrots" in class. Anne, on her first day of school mind you, stands up and breaks a slate over Gilbert's head. "How dare you!" And then, because it wasn't enough, she goes home and dyes her hair. What was supposed to be raven black, came out a sickly green.

Anne Shirley: But he positively assured me it'd turn my hair a beautiful raven black.
Marilla Cuthbert: Who did? Who are you talking about?
Anne Shirley: The peddler we met on the road today.

2. Anne invites her bosom friend, Diana, over for tea, then accidentally gets her drunk on Raspberry Cordial. Oh my stars. Talk about pee in your pants funny. Diana's parents are furious and forbid her and Anne from being friends or even speaking to each other.

"Farewell, my beloved friend. Henceforth, we must be strangers living side by side... but my heart will be ever faithful to thee." - Anne Shirley

3. Anne has a verbal altercation with the town gossip, Rachel Lynde. It's not pretty.
"How would you like to have nasty things said about you? How would you like to hear that you're fat, ugly, and a sour old gossip!"

4. Any scene where Anne's imagination gets the best of her is too much for my stomach muscles.

Anne Shirley: Don't you ever imagine things differently from what they are?
Marilla Cuthbert: No. Anne Shirley: Oh Marilla, how much you miss.

My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes. That's a sentence I read once and I say it over to comfort myself in these times that try the soul.

5. And then there's that horrible scene when Matthew dies in Anne's arms in the pasture.

"I never wanted a boy. I only wanted you from the first day. Don't ever change. I love my little girl. I'm so proud of my little girl." Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't see through all the tears!!!!!!!!!

6. Then finally, at the end of the first four hours, Anne and Gilbert have their moment. The moment anyone with half a brain saw coming since the infamous slate scene. Because that's how it works, you know. You freak out on a boy back in junior high and then marry him 10 years later. Had I known this, I would have broken more slates back in the day. I missed that memo.

Sigh.

I wonder if Green Gables is for sale? I need to call my real-estate agent. Prince Edward Island would be a fabulous place to summer. Vintage Dutch Girl-want to meet in the middle financially? Have your people call my people.

xoxo
E