Albuterol, Asics, and Me

I've recently picked up a new hobby.

And it's going to kill me.

It's called running. Apparently, it's really popular. Millions of people do it.

I used to think running was that thing you do when you're trying to escape from a predator. Or it's pouring down rain and your car is parked across the parking lot. Again. Or the ice cream truck came early and you're weren't prepared at the curb with $1.00 in hand. Or worse, you overslept on Black Friday and by the time you arrived at Target, you noticed they were already unlocking the doors and you had better get a move on! Stat!

I've always looked upon runners with such fondness. And envy. "Look at that gazelle. Running so smoothly. Breathing so easily. No cramping in their legs. Or side. Or sternum. Or phalanges."

Excessive cramping partnered with asthma and including an addition of a strong desire not to run results in yours truly bearing a strong resemblance to this approximately two blocks in -

"It burns! I can't breathe! I can't feel my legs! Does this curb make my butt look big?"

Well, enough is enough, I say! I doth declare to be a runner by the end of the summer! This is my vow. To myself. To you, my faithful readers. To my lungs, my legs, my sternum, and my phalanges. So they had better get used to it. Because they're coming with me; like it or not. We're one week in and so far, so good. I haven't passed out yet on the side of the road. Or stopped at the nearest house of someone I know "just to chat", because I "just happened to be in the neighborhood." Plus, I think the wheezing and gasping for breath would give me away.

Tomorrow, my Asics Gel Nimbus and I will be back at it. As well as our friend, Albuterol. He's a vital part of the running process as he keeps my lungs from completely closing up and ceasing to do their slightly important job of BREATHING. So, if you hear sirens between the hours of 10:00 and 11:00 tomorrow morning, don't be too alarmed. It's just the polar bear passed out on the curb again.

Goodbye forever,

Ghetto Barbie