What to do when your back goes out

Let me assure you - the list isn't long.

It's been almost two years since the Christmas from Hades. Faithful followers, you remember. It was Christmas Eve. My father and I were going to head into the city to pick up the new television that Mom and Dad had bought each other for Christmas. I was prepping myself for the journey, bending over my suitcase to grab my GAP long and leans when, SWEET MOTHER OF PEARL, I think I just threw out my back. And throw out I did.

I spent the next 3 days flat on my back. Happy Birthday, Jesus.

Every few months since that fateful day, I have an episode. Most are pretty minor. This one, not so much. The question I always get is, "What did you do?!" And my answer is always the same. "Nothing." It doesn't take much of anything. This particular episode commenced when I sat on the couch. All it takes is the right amount of pressure at a wrong angle, and GREAT ODIN'S RAVEN, pain. Pain everywhere.

Lucky for me, I have people in my corner who specialize in this kind of stuff. And by "stuff", I mean the aftermath of a lower back muscle mutiny. I've been elbowed to the point of tears and massaged to the point of needing a morphine drip. Now I just need to rest. That's easier said than done. Two years ago when I spent 3 days flat on my back, I had my beloved mommy at my beck and call. "Mommy, I need an icepack." "Mommy, I need some water, please." "Mommy, my movie is over. Can you put another DVD in for me?" "Mommy, I want a new car. Can you go buy one for me, please?"

And she would do it. The poor woman felt so sorry for me. Now I have friends who feel sorry for me. They deliver pumpkin spice lattes. They bring over dinner. They drive me around. They let me sit in their hot tub. They offer to go to the store for me. They cover for me at school. I'm so blessed to have such caring people in my life. And it is nice to be waited on. Not that I would wish for this saga of pain to happen often. But it's nice to know people care.

So, what do I do all day? Well, a whole lot of nothing.

Yesterday, I watched the first two movies in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Talk about cinematic excellence. "YOU SHALL NOT PAAAAAAAAASS." Oh Gandolf. What a guy. I mean wizard. And Legolas, the elf. So cute. An archery extraordinaire. And who can forget Aragorn, son of Arathorn, and the King of Gondor. I've always had a thing for Aragorn. From the moment he joins Frodo on his journey to Mordor to the moment he is crowned King of Gondor and tells everyone's favorite hobbits "You bow to no one." Again I say, cinematic excellence.

Yep. That was my day yesterday. Of course, I spent time laying on a heating pad, stretching my lower back, and walking around my condo to help alleviate some of the pain, but in a nutshell, that was my day.

Today, my cherubs are in the hands of my beloved favorite sub while I spend yet another day heating, stretching and walking. And drinking. Water. Lots of water. I felt it necessary to clarify. I'm awfully close to throwing back the whiskey, though.

Currently, I'm watching part three of Lord of the Rings while sipping on my delivered pumpkin spice latte. This afternoon, I have big plans. HUGE, I tell you. I will be walking around the block followed by watching the remainder of Downton Abbey Season 2. Some girlfriends and I were watching Downton together, but they feel sorry for me and the imprisonment that has become my life, so they're letting me watch the final 4 episodes without them. THAT is the definition of true friendship.

And now, because it makes me happy and reminds me of a happier time, I leave you with this:

 

The summit of Mt. Sinai.

 

Someday I will hike again.

 

Someday I will walk again.

 

Time to heat again,

 

Ghetto Barbie