I didn't get the 47" plasma TV, because I didn't practice my parking

It's the season of giving thanks.

I love Thanksgiving.

The church service. The turkey. The stuffing. The mashed potatoes. Ohhhhh....mashed potatoes. Time spent with Lynden "family". Settling Catan. And browsing the Black Friday ads while filling out the Holy Grail of shopping....THE LIST.

Yesterday, was the three week mark. Three weeks! That's only 21 days!

In my preparation for the best day that is black, I found some great tips online for any other crazies who may be considering venturing out into the boxing ring that is Black Friday shopping.

Here are some tips that I think will prove to be most helpful:

Financial
- Do not forget to take your method of payment with you. Ummm....DUH.

Physical
- In preparation for Black Friday, be sure to do your stretches. Doing stretches will help ensure that you will avoid injury while participating in a high level of physical activity during the cold, early hours of the morning
- On October 1, begin your physical training regimen. While shopping on Black Friday, you will need to have both physical endurance and the ability to respond quickly. To prepare for these situations, consider the following: wind sprints, endurance running, jumping jacks, push ups, sit ups.
- You may be required to lift heavy objects during your shopping trip on Black Friday. Consider beginning your weight training on September 1. How else do you expect to left that 32" TV before the person next to you?
- Even with all of your physical preparation, you must still prepare to shop. Consider practicing the following in less-busy retail stores leading up to Black Friday: 1.) Defensive Shopping Stance for guard your place in line, 2.) Guarding your items in your cart to avoid theft, 3.) Using your cart as a temporary blockade to shelf items.

Transportation
- You will need to pull into tight parking spots, sometimes very quickly. Consider practicing your parking lot maneuvers in an empty parking lot using safety cones as barriers.

Clothing
- Do not concern yourself with style for this shopping trip. Black Friday shopping is all about getting the deals. Be sure to wear footwear that provides good support and is comfortable. You will be spending long hours on your feet.

Food & Drink
- While it may be tempting to start the day with donuts, avoid the temptation. Go with healthy alternatives that will provide you with long-term energy.
- Do not drink alcohol before or during your Black Friday shopping trip. You will become a danger to yourself and to everybody around you.

Strategy
- Consider shopping in teams to hit multiple retail stores at the same time. Be sure you completely trust every member of your team, though. Consider drawing blood as a pact.
- Even though you may find it difficult to sleep due to excitement, be sure to get plenty of sleep the night before, and set your alarm clock to wake you up accordingly. This is one of the most important aspects of a successful Black Friday shopping trip.
- Leave children at home. You do not want to subject them to this experience. It can be dangerous and ugly. Consider leaving teens at home as well. You don't want to place your child, regardless of age, in any situation where they have to protect an item from a mob of angry women trying to find the last Tickle-Me-Elmo.

Now, of course, I could add some tips of my own that I've discovered to be helpful over the years. Like...

1. Exchange laminated lists (NOT BLOOD!) with your team. Study them. Know them. And when found, GRAB it. Better to have five of something, than none of something.
2. Know what every person is your team is wearing. For us, we usually all wear a hat. For no other reason than we don't feel like doing our hair before getting all sweaty in the toy department. So, study the hats. Know the hats.
3. Take your camera, but do not, under any circumstances, take pictures of all the goodies in the back of the Tahoe. Sometimes, gifts in your vehicle are for people who may or may not read the blog on which photos of said gifts have been shared. Oops.
4. Don't underestimate the basketball fundamentals that you learned in junior high. Boxing out can come in extremely handy in the DVD aisles.
5. All should go off without a hitch if you have coffee. A Starbucks Peppermint White-Mocha in a pretty red cup. That's all you need.

That and bright matching outfits.

And a whistle.

And the patience of Job.

Good luck and God speed.

* Tips from www.blog.blackfriday.info