Someone pass the Kleenex...

...the Olympics are wreaking havoc on my tear ducts.

I feel there should be a support group for people like me. People who can't control their emotions for two weeks every two years.

"Hi, my name is Emily. It's been three events since my last emotional breakdown."

If it's not the athletes in the events themselves, it's watching parents watch their child compete in the most significant sporting event of his or her young life.

And then there's the commercials. Someone open another box of tissues. That commercial with the young kids competing; "To us, they're Olympians. But to their moms, they'll always be kids." Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!! My heart can't take it. I am a weeping willow every single time that blasted commercial comes on.

Let's talk about specific events, shall we?

1. Women's Gymnastics

I am a nervous nelly the entire time. The uneven bars give me heart palpitations. It can't be good for my health. And just when I get heart rate back to a non-life threatening lub dub, my girl, Jordan Wieber, is cut from the All-Around Final.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!! Tears. Everywhere. And then those blasted interviewers. Let's not give her a moment to process and regain her composure before asking her HOW SHE FEELS after watching her dream shatter into a million pieces minutes earlier. *eye roll* Show some compassion, people! Ugh. I'm all worked up now. Let's move on to -

2. Swimming

Michael Phelps. Need I say more? The man is a machine.

I was so bummed after the USA lost the men's 4x100 relay Sunday night. I'm sure you can all remember the dramatic upset in 2008. Talk about heart palpitations. US swimmer, Jason Lezak, swimming the final leg for the US; gaining on the Frenchman. At the finish line, we see this:

And then, just like that, Lezak shows that Frenchman who's boss and wins gold for the USA. *sigh*

I need a minute. My heart is racing.

Speaking of racing heart, I'm loving the eye candy on the men's swimming team this year. And cue Ryan Lochte.

"Hey girl. Did you see that? I just won gold. For YOU. Let's make out."

Sorry. I forgot I was typing out loud. Forgive me for being a single female. With eyes. And a beating heart.

*sigh*

I need another moment.

Moment's over.

Let's talk about this gal's big moment!

My new favorite gold medalist, Missy Franklin.

Talk about emotional breakdowns. By me. Not by her. Well, I mean, she was emotional, too. It's a GOLD medal. But I couldn't even see straight.

Just look at her. Taking it all in.

I need, yet, another moment. And a tissue. I'm reliving it.

I watch other events, too, but it's really all about the swimming and the gymnastics for me.

But lastly, let's not forget about the real reason we're all watching the London Olympics. The sport of all sports.

3. Canoodling

By the royal couple.

*sigh*

And the gold medal for most adorable couple to ever grace the face of the earth since the beginning of time goes to.....

God bless the Olympics.

And I'm serious about someone passing the Kleenex. Michael Phelps just lost his "signature race".

I need a moment.