There better be an alarm clock doorbuster

1. The Target Black Friday ad came to me via email today. I needed to make a trip to the school nurse to check my blood pressure as it was through the roof. Stores are opening at midnight this year. MIDNIGHT!! Are you kidding me?!? Now I have to make a choice. Stay up all night and sleep all day??? OR...sleep most of the night and just get up at the crack of dawn like years past.

Biggest decision of my life.

This is worse than the time I had to decide between baked lasagna or baked spaghetti at Syros.

2. Rega needs new tires. That's going to be such a fun check to write at this time of year. I wonder if Zylstra Tire has Friday morning doorbusters? Hmmmm...I should look into that.

3. Let's play Jeopardy.

The answer is: Sharks, Diving off the high board, Getting stranded at Denver International Airport, and Oversleeping.

Question. What are Ghetto Barbie's biggest fears?

DING! DING! DING! DING!

We have a winner!

This morning, one of my dear and most beloved colleagues, led staff devotions at school. Wanting to share some inspiring videos via YouTube, she asked if she could hold devotions in my room where she could show the videos on my big screen.

No problemo.

I will be at school to help you by 7:35 a.m. That's what I told her last week. She confirmed with me 14 times. And each time I told her "Yes. I will be there! I will NOT let you down! Ever!!"

So there I was. Lost in dreams of puppies and candy canes; enjoying the warmth and comfort of my 600-thread count Egyptian cotton sheets. And I heard it.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

It was faint at first. And I immediately cursed under my breath at Clydesdale neighbor upstairs for hammering at such an ungodly time of the morning. I'm nothing if not a jumper to conclusions.

Ding Dong

What the world?! Who is ringing my doorbell!?!?

And then panic set in. Not because someone was ringing my doorbell at the crack of dawn, but rather, because I was not appropriately dressed to answer the door.

Fast forward through 17 seconds of running in circles desperately trying to find something decent to throw on before answering the door.

Seventeen seconds later, I was standing in the doorway donning extra short booty shorts, a baggy sweatshirt, and a rather messy ponytail. I was a vision of beauty.

And there, staring back at me with big eyes, and questionable taste regarding my attire in her eyes, was none other than my beloved colleague.

The conversation that followed went something like this...

Colleague: "Are you planning on helping me with devotions this morning?!"

Me: "Yes."

And then apparently I looked at her with a look of unabridged confusion and hilarity, because I couldn't figure out why in the world she was at my house so dang early.

Me: "Wait...what time is it?"

Colleague: "It's after 7:30...7:35ish."

[Insert ginormous panic attack here]

I sent her on her way with my computer login name and password.

And then I ran in circles for the next 23.5 minutes; trying to get my poop in a group and arrive at school prior to the first bell.

After arriving at school resembling a somewhat put together hot mess, I spent my entire day apologizing profusely.

And she just kept laughing at me. And telling me that she wishes she would have had a camera to document the look of confusion on my sleepy face accompanied soon after by a look of absolute horror when the realization of my downfall finally dawned on me.

I'm glad she has such a good sense of humor. I'm even more glad that she decided to swing by on her way to school. Apparently, after not answering my phone or replying to two text messages, she became concerned. Which is a valid concern. And ultimately, my saving grace. Because that's exactly what caused this whole mess in the first place.

For double points...

Answer: Going to bed with a phone at 10% battery life.

Question: What was Ghetto Barbie's big mistake?

Yep. The iPhone didn't survive to see the morning. Therefore, no alarm. And no reply to phone calls or text messages.

It could have been so much worse. Like, having 18 little people in a classroom with no teacher. And Lord only knows how long they would all sit there before sounding the alarm. I could have slept half the day away!

On tomorrow's agenda...Steps to take in the event that your beloved teacher is not in the classroom by 8:45 a.m.

But first, I should review with them how to tell time.

Oh dear.