A Farmer and his Mrs.

1. I write to you today out of the depths of despair. Just when I think it can't get any worse...it does. Curse you, Julian Fellowes, and the travesty you have created out of everyone's favorite Abbey. The season 3 finale left me physically ill and emotionally distraught. I need the return of Duck Dynasty now more than ever. My heart needs a good laugh.

2. Great Wolf Lodge

This past weekend was the junior high youth group's annual retreat to the lodge full of great wolves. It was a blast, and I continue to squirm in discomfort watching 13 year olds flirt. Let's leave room for the Holy Spirit on that couch, please. Thank you and amen.

3. My boyfriend

The end of my boyfriend's stint as the bachelor is nearing. Praise the Lord. I can't take it anymore.

This week, was the highly anticipated hometown dates.

And cue the elevated drama.

Good. Lord. What a mess.

First of all, I watched in horror as Catherine's evil step-sisters threw her under the bus. Repeatedly. And then there's Des. Poor, poor Des. And her poor, poor brother who has, by this time, been banished from his family for being such a love hater. Am I the only one who watches these hometown dates and makes a mental list of all the wonderful things that I love about my family at the same time? My normal, God-fearing, fun family? For starters, the first question my parents would ask would be, "Do you love Jesus?" not "Are you going to break my daughter's heart?" Seriously, people. There are four girls vying for one man's heart. It's simple math, really. Three hearts will get broken. Well, let's be real here. In the long run, five hearts will be broken, because it's The Bachelor. These things never work out. Second, my brothers would be very warm and welcoming, because that's the kind of people they are. They'd crack open a beer, sit down to watch a football game, and talk x's and o's while they drink their beer and eat burgers with all the fixings. And by x's and o's, I don't mean hugs and kisses. My brother, Phil, would send his lovely wife to do the drilling. Because she's good at it. My beloved SIL, would ask all the right questions, offer Bachelor a tasty, homemade snack, and give me her blessing. Meanwhile, Kaydrian would be running around the house sporting a shirt, courtesy of his momma's crafty side, with the phrase, "My Auntie and Jesus are all you need." One big happy family. God bless 'em.

I remember the first time Seany-boy made his visit to L-Town. I took him to everyone's favorite Stoney Ridge.

What a day that was. We took a wagon ride down to the pumpkin patch, picked some apples for apple pie, and later, told embarrassing church camp stories over carameled apple pie.

Next week is the episode that makes any girl with any morals and values whatsoever cringe. The horrific fantasy suite dates. And, according to the latest issue of US magazine, it is going to be awkward with a capital A. A for abstinence. I'm sure Hollywood and their love for all things immoral will love that.

4. A very happy birthday to my favorite sister-in-law today! Happy celebrating!

xoxo

E