Someday my mountain man will come

January 1, 1993.

A day that will live in infamy.

Picture it:

It's New Year's Day. My family, after a hard day's work of lounging around, decides to venture across the large metropolis of Rock Valley and spend a few hours at Grandpa and Grandma's house. After consuming one chippy-dippy bar and a glass of milk, naturally I become bored of the adult conversation taking place around the table. Therefore, me and my pre-pubescent self sulkinly trudge into the living room. "There must be something good on TV," I think to myself. After all, it's New Year's Day. Perhaps it's time for the annual broadcast of The Sound of Music. Or maybe a Matlock marathon on USA. My mother and her murder mystery cravings sucked me right into that one. Matlock and Perry Mason. Those were the two men in her murder mystery repertoire. Now she's all about Mark Harmon on NCIS. Though, I can see the appeal. What a silver fox. All the ladies swoon over Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. But I digress.

So there I was, flipping through channels when I come across "It." "It" being the show that would forever hold a special place in my heart. And in the words of the Pioneer Woman, my hiney. For the record, "It" was not the creepy clown movie. Shudder.

Anywaaaaaaaay, soon I am in a trance. Hypnotized by the stagecoach, the wild west, and most of all, a hunky mountain man.

By now, those of you who know me best, know exactly what I'm talking about. In fact, you're probably shocked that I've waited this long to blog about aforementioned hypnotism. As for the rest of you, who are OBVIOUSLY living in the dark, I stumbled across none other than this show:


I didn't realize at the time just how much this show would affect the next 6 years of my life. Or my emotional well being. Or future conversations around a campfire in which my friends torture me mercilessly about my obsession for buckskin.

Can you blame me? Just look at this hunkalicious, buckskin romeo.

Sigh.

Do you need a minute?

I do.

This piece of wild west meat was the McDreamy of the 90's.

And when the eccentric mountain man fell in love with the lady doctor from Boston, love affairs everywhere would never be the same. Everybody wanted their mountain man. Ladies flocked to the old west in search of their own Sully, but were disappointed when they got to the airport and there wasn't a stage coach to take them to their final destination. And when they finally got to Colorado Springs via Lincoln Town Car, they found a Starbucks where the telegraph office used to me. Such a let down.

That's right, Derek and Meredith. Seely Booth and Dr. Brennan. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. This was the power couple of the mid-nineties.



Everyone, may I present to you the Prom King and Queen of 1870. Don't be haters, y'all.

Now, fast forward to Christmas 2009. I have one thing on my list. ONE! OK, so that's a bit of an exaggeration. But at the top of my list, and I mean WAY at the top, was the gift of all gifts. The Great Bambino. The Colossus of Clout. The crown jewel.

THAT, my friends, is the ENTIRE series. All six seasons. Perhaps you don't notice that it's all bound in a leather case. Ahhhhh.....I must have it. Did I get it? Nope. I'm not surprised. My family refuses the feed the monster that is my obsession with Mr. and Mrs. Mountain Man. Bro 1, however, in all his generosity gave me cash. Enough cash to purchase said series online. AND, it was on sale. Yes! It will finally be mine! *evil laugh*

On December 29, I happily typed my credit card digits into the online store, and then excitedly clicked, "Submit order". Things were going to start happening to me now. And they did. The blasted thing was on backorder. No worries. I've waited years for this. I can wait 2-3 more weeks.

Time went by. The weeks turned into months. Until just the other day when I received the horrible news via email. "Your order has been cancelled." Never before have such wretched words been uttered. CANCELLED!! You have got to be kidding me!!

I will prevail. I've already checked other sites and found the object of my obsession available elsewhere. And the price is the same. Had I known this 5 MONTHS AGO, I would have cancelled the order myself, ordered from a site that had it in stock, and spent my entire spring break in my pajamas watching every episode. From every season. Even the movies that are included in the box set. Ugh. It would have been great. The spring break that wasn't. I blame you, "site that I won't mention by name" for not restocking your shelves, with what obviously is a hot item. Shame on you.

Anyone else obsessed with the doc and her hot hubby?

No?

Just me?

Ok then.

Losers.